The Intern Diaries-Gone Main Stage?

I apologize for having neglected my records of my Dallas experience for a while. Just to let you know-a lot has happened and I've thoroughly enjoyed the insight I've been able to gain.

Through working at the Dallas Black Dance Theatre I've been able to test my own capabilities and really explore the fields I may potentially land in!

Two things I've discovered that are most pertinent to my future are my new found love of film editing and the realization of all the creative jobs that lie in the arts field that aren't solely performance based.

For instance-Katherine Dunham-ever heard of her? Before this summer I hadn't either, but once I had I was overwhelmed with inspiration. She was not only a dancer but even more interesting to me-an anthropologist :D Being an anthro minor my heart leaped as I learned how she developed a brand new modern dance technique based off the native dancers of people of the Caribbean, Africa, and parts of America.

Now all the while I've been dreaming of an opportunity to able to incorporate my love of dancing, writing, and culture and there are people out there who have followed these pursuits and done wonderful things.

I'm still as uncertain as ever on where exactly my path is headed, but I feel the stepping stones are lining up and I won't have to leave any of my talents or potential behind.

As my internship was ending I was presented with another great opportunity-a chance to perform on stage with the cast of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at the Dallas Theater Center!

Through my new found skill of video editing and the help of my creative genius friend Kristy I was able to submit a video of my dancing, win the contest, and get interviewed on Good Morning Texas!

What was so interesting about this process was by being behind the scenes in the GMT studios I was able to see how interaction took place. Both the DTC Pr manager and star of the show were very easy to talk to and the whole process went very smoothly.

Everything from the studio set-up to the friendly atmosphere let me see that there was opportunity in this field as well. Regardless of where I go, I know there will be jobs that will allow me to share people's stories. This could come across on screen, through working with the performing arts, or through writing. Can't wait to see what comes next!

The Intern Diaries Week 2~

This has been one of those weeks I feel has gone by both extremely fast and incredibly slow. If you are unfamiliar with this feeling, time tends to go by in this fashion when my mind is impacted by a lot of new things in a different environment.

Exhibit A-this guy was stalking me at the park the other day-one odd duck :/

Here's what I like to call my odd-duck-out-of-water theory-
While we imagine time going on in a somewhat linear way, our brain is taking in thousands of stimuli that compile the moments in our day. When we fall into a routine, we don't always notice these "distractions" that cause us to feel a variety of emotions from joy to sorrow. Now put in a new environment, my brain is being bombard by an array of new things-fabulous things- but unfamiliar nonetheless and has therefore switched to ADD kid on a roller coaster mode....trust me if there were no drops and hills and it was all flat we wouldn't experience such intense fear...but then again it wouldn't experience any joy either and that's never any fun :D

So after my philosophical rant about how I believe our brains function-let me get down to the good stuff-this whole "working" thing.

In Sarah's ideal happy bubble what I'm doing is not really work. I get to write and collect information about a dance Academy, in a new awesomely built dance theatre, which features a company that will be going...to the Olympics!

Unfortunately, that bubble never really stood a chance, and because of the roller coaster mind effect I explained above, the real work has been adjusting to the ride. Some parts are rather mundane like learning to use time efficiently and sit in a desk for long periods of time (I think I'm getting better, but I'm seriously thinking about switching out my chair for a one of those stationary bikes :) Other parts, exploring Dallas and meeting new people, are both exciting and kind of scary at first.

After going to a dance class and running into a friend from TCU and randomly meeting up with a long lost camp friend at yoga I'm discovering that sometimes when you seem to be headed down hill fast, life throws you a loop.

So on those days when I almost get demolished by an angry Texas on the freeway, or I feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing--- I seriously thought of buying this----

I'm starting to feel the ease of the coaster and learn how to windsurf-another wonderful analogy of mine. You can never go anywhere if you freak out and drop your sail when the winds get rough. Relax and feel the wind, let it guide you instead of trying to fight it. (I learned this after spending the majority of my lesson in the water).

The Intern Diaries Day 1~

When I was young I thought of my adult self as a pretty confident driver. Moving through the pathways and turns of life with the ease of experience and knowing exactly where I was going. Sitting in a conference room wearing an uncomfortable pair of shoes and dress I listened to my boss explain to me what was expected of me for this summer and I realized I was wrong. Growing up was not a smooth cruise...

It's a free fall

I think my clammy skin and the pit in my stomach are enough to attest to this. What's key to remember is to release your parachute, catch some good wind, and find a partner to ride it out with.

Now this may sound a bit dramatic, and I don't want to leave the impression that I haven't had a lot of good breaks in the process of reaching ground.

First off this internship that has got me in a twist was seriously a God send. I not only get to work in a dance studio-but with an academy that is linked to a internationally known and prestigious dance company with a history of social and racial integration.

It's not exactly a journalism internship (which is my major), but is loaded heavy with projects in marketing and promotions. Now to the average Joe, strategic communications and journalism may seem very similar, maybe even interchangeable. I mean they even take a few of the same classes.....

but let me inform you that the college of communications can be a house divided. Because PR, marketing, and other communication degrees focus on the positive aspects of the story, many journalism majors feel like the job is for sell outs. Although, after looking over some of the articles and reviews that have been written about Dallas Black Dance Theatre, they can't seem to find flaw with the establishment either.

What has lured me over to the marketing side of things (just for a visit maybe not permanently) is working with something worth sharing. More than I love to dance myself, I also love to watch, teach, and share my enthusiasm about the wonderful art.

No it may not seem as compelling of a cause as freeing starving children from their daily oppression (not to take that lightly), but dance has truly captured my heart and I believe it has the power to transform lives and bring people together.

So even though this marketing thing seems like a mysterious fog right now, I pray my passion for dancing will help me to not loose faith in myself and the plans God has for my future.

Yes, I'm falling, but thankfully I very reliable parachute and guide for my adult self who still wants to cling to my childhood airplane.

Day 6~I used to love the Tenderloin-till I made some tender coin

So we finally made it to the part of the city I had been itching to see-the Tenderloin.

For those who aren’t familiar, this would be the part of the city where car doors are locked and walking alone at any part of the day can be dangerous.

Thankfully we had my three really tall male friends to watch our backs. I really am going to miss them-they are quite hilarious. 

Anyways, you are probably wondering what we were doing in this shady spot and why I wanted to even set foot there. We had the opportunity to help out at a non-profit called Project Open Hands. They serve and deliver food to victims of cancer and AIDS or anyone whose digressive state is causing them to starve. 

What struck me most is not only did they serve this largely discriminated against group, but they were serious about their food-something I take seriously too. Instead of taking food donations, Project Open Hands finds the most nutritious brands who will sell in bulk, and if they can’t find what they are looking for make it themselves on site. Our group was part of the process of making and packaging peanut butter and trail mix. 

Finding pure ingredients says a lot about how much these people care. Never casting off a life that seems destined to soon be gone, but instead doing everything they can to ensure nourishment shows humanity's great capacity for hope. 

I guess the reason I wanted to see the Tenderloin was to see the whole scope of San Fran, a city is only as good as it’s weakest street. There I found all the beauty I had seen by the bay and in the woods. 

Our next stop through the graffitied streets was to a Muslim mosque. All the ladies wore scarves on our heads in respect of the tradition. 

As we entered into our gender specified spaces oddly enough I didn’t have any insubordinate feelings towards being seated in the back of the room. It occurred to me that my focus was not on those watching behind me, there was nobody watching or judging what I was wearing and how I was behaving. I was able to relax and shift my gaze upwards. 

The front of the loft was slowly being filled with a variety of men aging from their early twenties to forties. The variety of people was almost like being in the middle of a subway station instead of a Muslim prayer service.

Many women were accompanied by some of the most adorable children I have ever seen. Big brown eyes and round cheeks wandered between parents before the prayers began. 

The religious leader lead an arabic prayer that involved a lot of bowing, and then delivered a message in a very heavy accent. What I could understand from it were a lot of the same themes we had seen in the other religious services we have been attending. We are all one-violence and discrimination have no place in the life of following Allah. Also there is something more than our earthly existence that we are moving to collectively. 

Afterwards, we met with an Interfaith leader from the community who was very eager to defend the Muslim faith. He asked us what our preconceived notions of the faith were and encouraged us to ask lots of questions. 

It’s no secret that Muslims have been viewed as terrorists and patriarchal citizens. He explained how troubled this had made him and other faith leaders. He was very friendly and obviously wanted to present the Muslim faith in the best light possible, but I wanted to know what was really the case in issues such as gender roles. 

When I asked, he said that women have total equality under the Koran, and the separation and head coverings were meant to ensure there were no distractions or tension between the community. My friend Paige informed me that women in the Middle East had more positions of leadership before a cultural shift was enforced by a new governing power. So although it is clear that women’s rights have been horribly ignored in this part of the world in recent times, the faith tradition may not be what is to blame, rather the cultural interpretation. 

He was a big advocate for letting the individual decide how to practice their own religion. 

With some reservations, I asked another question that was very applicable to our group- what about the homosexuals? Again his answer focused more on the interfaith tolerance approach instead of clearly stating what the Muslim faith teaches. 

This scenario brings up one of the main struggles with interfaith, finding a way to be open and learn about different faiths without watering down or not truly expressing your own tradition. 

What I found after visiting our last faith site at a Jewish temple, was that in this environment I found a renewed desire to share my love of Jesus. 

We first meditated with our yamakas facing Jerusalem and I invited the presence of God to just take over. Although I was not immediately overcome with joy and love, I experienced a new dimension of my faith through the Shabbat service that followed-the history. 

Like one of our group members reflected afterwards-it was easy to cast off the Jewish faith as a Christian and think we’ve moved passed that and know more, when the truth is there is a lot of foundation there. The songs we sang were in the Hebrew Jesus spoke and gave praise to the same God we all know and love. 

The rabbi who led the service was very young and excited. He played the guitar and sang while chanting Hebrew in between verses-it was a very laid back service. 

Explanations of some of the Jewish traditions were given in the song books. While reading through, I came across something I hadn’t thought about before-prayers of intercession for the deceased. It only made sense, because they did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah, that eternal life was not seen as accessible to them after death.

This thought caused me to wrestle with my thoughts on interfaith more. Because as has been expressed many times at my church, religion is useless without a relationship with Jesus. 

Of course I had been told this for many years, yet seeing those outside of Christianity being filled with peace and love has opened my eyes to try to see just how big Jesus is.

He is not captured by just one culture or mindset. I will never be able to fully understand the role He plays in other’s lives without being open to who they are and where they come from.

I find this much more important than trying to sell someone a ticket to heaven. 

Although it is easy to stay in the Christian bubble and think if everyone just had Jesus the world would be great. It seems the problem isn’t non-Christians not knowing the gospel-it’s how that message has been presented and used to cause judgement and hate that rips through boundaries of different races, religions, and sexual orientation. 

My heart is broken- not because I look into another’s face and know they don’t know Jesus-but because they have known the prejudice and belittlement thrown onto their face in the name of Jesus.

The music of a United Religions Initiative cooperation circle called Musaique was a great reminder of the importance of supporting peace and equality. The group consists of Jews, Christians, and Muslims from all over the Middle East who play together to promote fellowship between these groups that bear deeply severed bonds. 

The woman who founded it, Lee Ziv, spoke with gratitude about the groups first appearance in the United States. Although the songs were mostly in Hebrew and Arabic, it was easy to sense their message of unity and shared cultural understanding. 

I was blessed with the opportunity to experience some of the movements for peace in the beautiful city of San Francisco. I can only hope now that I can continue to grow in learning more about what I can do here in Texas to keep shining that light. San Francisco will keep calling my name until I return. 

Day 5~I’ve been high-I’ve been low

So unfortunately as the theory goes-what goes up must come down. 

Although I’ve been blessed to be in high spirits throughout this trip, the bus ride to Muir Woods this morning left me extremely nauseated and by the time we reached Sausalito I had lost my debit card and was feeling extremely disoriented. 

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the incredible experience of getting to see a truly beautiful natural reserve spotlighted by rays of sunshine peaking through massive trees. 

My sense of comfort was just shaken a bit when I realized I only have $20 cash for the rest of the trip.

The forest was much more subtle than I expected, either that or my rose colored glasses are fading. What is good about that is I can appreciate things on a more realistic level not glorifying what the earth provides as something it’s not, but appreciating nature for what it is. 

I spent the afternoon at Fisherman’s Warf trying to release that sense of insecurity by taking in the simple nature of sea lions and of course the comfort of Ghirardelli chocolate.  

We were then served breakfast for dinner which can turn any day around-I don’t care what you say.

After that we walked to the modern art museum to find a line curving around the corner of the building-I had never seen so much enthusiasm for art museums. Many of the people there dressed in hipster style and looked like they were in their twenties-thirties. 

What interests me most about modern art is the way it levels everyone off. Very intelligent people will be the first to admit that they have no clue what a piece is trying to convey and where the artist is coming from. 

It can be very hit or miss-I really enjoyed photography that spoke of individual stories, such as a suicide rescue. However, I will never quite understand how a black canvas can pass as insightful. 

The experience of bonding with some of my group members by laughing at these trivial concepts was fun. 

A piece that really made me serious up was titled “lovers discourse” and showed a video of a man and a women talking circling a dark room on a projector. 

It struck me how the artist had used the space to really share how that reality  is experienced in the mind. 

Really that unity of exploring how each of our lives are felt and experienced is the goal of any type of art.  I thought of dancing and how we use our bodies to take what is concrete-our bodies-and express our abstract souls. 

If you’ve gotten lost in these last two paragraphs-let me bring you back up to the surface. Today I learned as humans sometimes we need to be shaken in order to be awakened. I still plan on eventually moving here and developing a further research of what the people and culture have to offer. 

Take me to my city by the bay~Day 4

Down by the bay where the rip gut grows back to my home I dare not go :)

So as I’ve stated above, we started out the day by my favorite place-the beach! We worked with the Presidio National Park rangers to stop invasive plant species in the bay area over by the golden gate

Yes, I know, very serious business saving the world in all from none other than the notorious weeds of the bay area.

Although I didn’t feel super impactful, I did learn a lot of about the biodiversity of the bay area and more reasons why I am going to one day live here.

In strawberry fields forever...

I also heard a lot from the main park ranger, Michael, who lives near the park with his wife and two kids. He said his wife was from Oklahoma as well and had moved to New York after graduating from Baylor and now teaches yoga in San Fran. His daughter is very into observing the environment (lil Jane Goodall) and his son love baseball. 

As I heard more about his life, I began to see more and more how the lives of people who lived here were not so foreign from my own. I didn’t need to be rich or well connected to enjoy this place and not get lost in it. 

After our intense weed pulling, we embodied the stereotype of land locked midwesterners enthralled by the ocean. Some of our team completely immersed themselves in it while others gliding along the foam and took pictures-utter joy.

We changed out of wet clothes and shook off our dirty feet before walking to China town. I must admit that the area really didn’t greatly interest me. Strawberries and macaroons kept me on a sugar buzz until dinner. 

Cuisine from Peru and Nepal were brought to us by our token international students who made homemade macaroni and spicy chicken. From there we were off to a Vedanta Hindu Temple. 

Now yesterday the little door on the religious portion of my brain had started to creak open. Today, it was blown wide open, leaving me to feel the winds of change and discomfort while learning intently a practice that intersected so uniquely with my own.

When the Swami walked in I was expecting a man from India or at least with dark skin, this man was white and elderly. He was dressed in peach robes I have seen in pictures of monks and spoke with an air of wisdom. 

We then went into the main service area and listened to songs sung in Sanskrit. When I read the lyrics I was very surprised to see how deeply they applied to my own faith.

They expressed beautifully the vanity of this world and the love of something greater that is full of love and hope. 

The Swami explained more about why this similarity existed after meditation. He said the Vedanta believe good and bad are at work in this world and help mold each other. 

He said God is like water in a shallow pool, it exists all around us and inside of us but because it reflects all that is around it, God can be hard to detect. 

We were able to discuss the many questions we had with a member of our group who is Hindu and Scott who is the enthusiastic religion major. 

It was hard at times to wrap my brain around this whole new system and try to understand this worldview. Although I did have moments of enlightenment, I realized that Hindu, much like Christianity, is not a one dose catch phrase. There was much philosophy that needed to be explored. The core essence of Christianity seems much easier for me to comprehend, but maybe that is because it has been evangelized so often. Through it’s sharing it has been simplified while Hindu remained more of a philosophy to be sought after. 

As you can tell, I’m walking a wobbly bridge as I head to new places, but I’m learning so much about my own faith and how that interacts with others. I can’t wait to continue to grow strong in that message of love and hopefully one day spread it more along the San Francisco Bay. 

Don't know what I was on but I think it grows in Oregon~Day 3

If I had to sum up today’s message in one phrase it would be-caution: foreign places and philosophies are closer than they first appear. 

We started the day going to Berkley- a campus I had heard of mostly in movies and I had always imagined as being miles away from TCU both physically and ideologically. 

Of course the place was picturesque, but with more of a cozy cottage feel like Stars Hollow (fictional town in Gilmore Girls). Nina, our guide from URI, had worked on the campus before and greeted students on our way to the Pacific School of Religion headquarters. 

The inviting atmosphere was something I did not expect. Graduate students (who were the age of some of my professors) led us on a tour throughout PSR which appeared to be a close knit group. Evidence of children who lived in the “dorms” and a community garden made it very different from any other campus I had seen. 

We were then greeted by two ladies who are involved with interfaith work on he campus and who had us open up about our own faith traditions and how they saw this approach. 

My mouth went dry as I thought of all the mixed emotions I had experienced even just within my family about how to approach those of different faiths. When others opened up, I began to see that this was normal and accepted as well. 

Although I had seen many Christians ignore the idea of interfaith, those who were involved in it had not ignored those traditions that may be more hesitant to jump on the ‘let’s all be friends’ band wagon. 

I realized how much growing I had to do in clarifying my own faith and how I relate to others. 

We were then privileged to be served a free lunch in the small but tasty dining hall, with the president of PSR and some alumni from TCU. It amazed me still how connected our small community was with this institute across the country. The professors here knew those who worked at the religions department at TCU and the alumni were still connected to their purple roots. 

We left the campus feeling very welcomed by the people there. We then went to visit another school of thought-Buddhism.

My own experience with this tradition had left me skeptical of the legitimacy of the practice, but I was interested in learning more. I talked with Nina, who is a practicing Buddhist, and she told me there were at least 40 different denominations of Buddhism that varied much like the Christian church. She said she was inspired by the teachings of Jesus and when I asked if she read the bible, she said she has read some of the gospels. 

Talking with her helped me see how Buddhism is experienced by an individual. When we reached the temple, the priest (I sadly cannot remember his name) helped add more depth to my perception as well.

He was an older Japanese man who although tended to trail off, had a lot of insight about relating Buddhism back to terms we might understand. He had a great knowledge of language and etymology which connected a variety of ideas in a new way.

For example, he explained that life is defined as breathing and went on to highlight words that were tied in with the word breath, such as wind and spirit. 

Our group did not have enough energy to absorb all he was saying, but we did enjoy sipping tea and trying Japanese treats.

When we returned, we recharged with a trip to the mall-a 6-story mall-fully stocked with the best stores around. Quality is something that does not need to be long sought after here, but can be bought. I haven’t given up on plotting schemes to financing living here sometime in the future. Until then, I will soak up every moment of this lovely place. 

Everyday so captivating I wish they were Golden Gated~Day 2

San Francisco-the place where architects come to just show off---

Not only are the buildings in this place nice, each one holds a design all its own. Its like walking through an art museum in a time machine, each glance capturing a new space.

Yesterday I started to have feelings for this place, but I must admit I now have a full blown crush on this enchanting city. It's simply beautiful in a way that's not that simple. Displaying its majestic views with a nonchalance that invites you to settle in.

Now that I'm done musing about the atmosphere for a while, let me go on to what I have learned about my trips purpose today-and that is to explore this idea of interfaith more.

This morning we met with the people who were involved and helped start the United Religions Initiative. Before this I was unaware that a movement existed for peace and justice with people of different faiths to affect positive change in our world.

I had always turned to my faith to find experiences to serve others, but this felt so much bigger. It made my heart leap to think of people with such marked differences not only learning about each other with an open mind but serving side by side for the same goal.

Admittedly, I had never really thought much about the social work of other religions. The atmosphere I was in sometimes led me to think that Christians were the only ones who felt called to feed the hungry, help the lost, and support the lives of others.

We learned that URI works through what they call cooperation circles that are formed in different areas all over the world and must consist of at least 7 people representing at least 3 different religious traditions.

One such circle was featured in a video and consisted of young women from the Middle East, who I believe were Hindu. They were providing trees to families who had just given birth to a girl. Most of the time, these babies were aborted because females were not valued in society as highly as males. Seeing their passion for supporting life through a religion that is completely out of my scope really hit me with what we shared. The human heart. With all the complexities of the make-up of our identity, we all still have a heart that loves and breaks and longs to beat one more day.

I saw more of that heart in the faces of the people we met in San Fran. Our meditation instructor shared with us how she had started practicing with her mother when she was diagnosed with cancer, and had continued after she was gone to find cohesiveness and synergy throughout her day.

Hearing these stories is like finally stepping out the door after staring out the window, a dimension you always knew was there is finally brought to light.

Aside from building figurative bridges, we got to see the grand Golden Gate bridge doing my favorite walking alternative-biking! Apparently I am one of the only ones in my group who has actually continued the practice long after my childhood years. It was great getting to see my team members tackle the hills of SanFran together-giving me plenty of picture opportunities.

I even took some while on my bike-which dubbed me the little rebel of the group

I got to experience a unique experiment which was a mix between an elliptical and scooter

I had a truly authentic SanFran dish-clam chowder and sourdough

Each moment I felt more and more at home in a city far from my mid America upbringing.

Save me San Francisco~Day 1

It’s funny how cities have a way of capturing ideals and building them into the very architecture of their essence and projecting them onto the make-up of its people. 

I had always held California as a place in my mind that carried a peace and freshness that had been suffocated in the smog of New York and in my case the small towns of the midwest. 

When the reality of my escape to the sea was finally in flight, I still didn’t know where to cast my hopes. As I read an old article from National Geographic, exploring the history of the San Francisco Bay, I wondered if a treasure of a city could really exist. 

We walked out of the baggage claim and the air was different. A captivating breeze that makes you want to go fight the current of whatever it is facing you that day.

Small houses with pastel colors lined the hilly streets as the train passed by. I knew right then that this was going to be one of those places that would not take much settling for me. Even though we had never officially met, its presence had flooded my head since I could remember. 

The hostel where we were going to stay 
is just what I had imagined a college dorm would be like when I was younger. The locals themselves seemed to be predominantly young. I tried to separate myself from the scene, like I had done in other cities, by looking into the faces of obscure strangers. The trouble was that a lot of them were young like me and seemed familiar. 

In my room the city surrounds me and instead of sirens I hear laughter. Maybe this place was blessed with the peace of St. Francis, or am I just fooled by its classic sheen?